Thursday, January 24, 2019

Fighting the Dreaded Anxiety Monster!

I am struggling real bad!
Why you may ask? Because I am carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders and I feel like everything in my life is crashing down around me.  I mean everything!

My Family
My Home
My Business
My Career
My Job
My Future
My Sense of Self

Why?
My Anxiety!

People tell me I am using it as a crutch! No, I am not!
That's the part that angers me the most!
I never used to be this way, but I trusted someone who wasn't supposed to betray me and  guess what it happened anyway. Believe me when I say, I hate having a pain in my chest every day! I hate feeling like the other shoe is going to drop.  People do not understand the intensity of how it feels to have the nagging worry that something bad is going to happen ALL THE TIME! The worst thing is the anxiety and fear can have you make mistakes that you normally should and would not be making. Things that you should not have had happen. What can you do about it? NOTHING!

I should have been asleep 2 hours ago! Why am I not asleep?  Because I am up working! Trying to get stuff handled like I need to be a good mom.  So I can function knowing I have to because that is what a Mom Boss does! Knowing that there is NO HELP for someone in my situation except the solution I find for myself!  I know that the people will think I am trying to use my anxiety as a crutch and that's not the case I bust my bum a lot to do what I need to do.

So this reminder is for those out there who thinks that the friend who worries about everything is faking it!  Believe me when I say I would like to be asleep in my bed instead of working and writing because I could seriously use a good night's sleep!  No this is not a pity post. This is a post to show how Anxiety can kick someone down even worse than they are!  Take heed my friends all it takes is one bad thing to happen to you and you are in the position I am in.

To a brighter future and plan,

Angie

38 Wonderful Inspirational Quotes

Tuesday, January 1, 2019

A New Year's Plan!

And so the Adventure Begins - Stemless Wine Glass - 20 oz

Happy New Years Everyone!

Last night I ended up falling asleep and only woke up when Robbie ran into the room, jumped on my bed and yelled Happy New Years Mommy! My twelve year old made it through and I did not. But in my defense, I felt so sick from a migraine and if you have ever had a migraine you will know you need to do anything to get rid of it.  After he woke me, I lay in bed just thinking about my goals for the upcoming year and how I am going to accomplish my goals for 2019! So I made this list so I can hold myself accountable if I fall to the wayside and try to give up.
So instead of making a New Year's resolution I have to decide to make a 2019 game plan on all the following aspects in my life. This list is in no particular order of importance of what I want to have done.

Business

As many know I do have a resell and homemade gift business. Last year my priorities fell by the wayside and I let things be as they are. This year, however, I want to move myself along further and make my business more successful.  Besides my online store I want to continue to work on my freelancing more as well and be a more profitable so I can be more free financially.

Personal Care

When you suffer from anxiety and depression like I do you back away from self care  or in some cases any type of care.  This sucks, but it does happen and you do have to fight it every day.  This year I have made a personal goal to continually take care of myself, to push myself even if I don't want to take care of myself.  Be it making sure my eyebrows are done or coloring my hair and everything in between.  I want to be the best me and if I personally take care of myself I will feel better about myself and have a much better attitude.

Job

I am very fortunate that I have found a really great job as an independent contractor.  As I continue to work this job I want to continue to excel and have more opportunity as I have already had. I believe that I can have a great future in this job or any job I will work and I am excited for the future I will have.

Home

I am vowing to keep my home cleaner and better maintained as I am going at it alone. Even if I do have to clean up after everyone in this home, I will make sure it's taken care of as I want the home to be clean and have a better feeling in the house. To me a cleaner home brings better karma and feeling.  I believe a home's energy can either be calm or hectic based on the home's cleanliness.

My Love Of The Paranormal

Many people know that I have always had an obsession with the paranormal.  I have a mission that to continue my quest of chasing the paranormal and to document it in pictures, videos or stories.

Faith

Last year I lost a large amount of my faith when it came to a lot of the horrible stuff that happened in my life last year and I have decided I will be coming back to my faith more this year.  I have always practiced Wicca and also have believed in god. So I will continue to pray to father god and mother goddess more as well as practice what I preach.  I hid my beliefs too long and have decided that I will not hide who I am anymore.

Blog

The Blog will be a weekly focus this year as well for me!  I have truly missed working on the blog and have been coming up with ideas for articles and fun things.  Once I have a car there will also be travel pictures and videos! I have waited to make things happen way too long and I will no longer wait to do what I enjoy anymore.

Writing

One thing that I do miss and vowed to keep up this year is my writing.  I will be definitely be continuing with all my books and you will see works in progress posted on the blogs until they go for a full edit! As I would love to see what people think about what I have written.

Kids

When it comes to my kids, I am vowing to be a better mom to my kids and pets. Sometimes with my anxiety I shut down and I really shouldn't so I will be more focused on being a better me.

Future

The kids and my future are always evolving and growing and I vow to make sure my kids, pets and I will have everything we need including a new home if needs be. I have always been afraid of what the future might hold, but now I am excited.  2019 is going to be a great year and I can feel it in my bones.

Health

In August of 2018 I started taking my health back in my own hands. I started working out and doing a ton of cardio work. Because of doing this I have lost sixty five pounds and I am working on breaking the 200 pound mark in the next month or so. I am also working on toning my body and getting back into great physical shape.  I am trying to get medical insurance again as I could not afford it before because of loopholes.

Travel

One more thing I want to do for the kids and I is as soon as I can get a car is to start taking road trips around Florida and the lower south USA.  I want my kids to have experiences in their life and not just staying at home. I hope to get a car by March and am excited for the freedom having a car will give me.

I hope that everyone's year is amazing and adventurous. I also hope that whatever this next year brings you experience love, laughs and hope.

Blessings and Love,

Angie