Thursday, November 22, 2018

The Battle Of The Bulge: A Personal Story

I know, I know What am I selling right? Nope, Not Selling a thing!  See, the thing is I think I have tried so many different diets I had just given up. Back in  Mid August of this year my Anxiety and Depression were at its worst. I was eating to comfort myself because I knew my marriage was completely over and my emotions were a huge mess. Then it happened for a week I couldn't get out of bed, I was feeling so sick I was getting massive migraines and I wanted it all to just end.  What changed? What caused me to make a leap of faith and take control of my life, health and future?

I was scrolling through my Facebook feed and in my memories of the day a very important person who had since passed away had left a message on my wall a few years ago to cheer me up,

"You are important and you matter! 
No matter what happens in the future know that
You are stronger than you think
Braver Than you know
And you will get through this"

Part Winnie The Pooh, Part her normal encouragement. 

That night I weighed myself and was crying because there on the scale my weight said I was 285 pounds. I was sickened to think that I did this to myself. I was five foot six, this is the most I have ever weighed in my life.  I think I cried for three hours straight. Then later that night my kids dad came home and there was a huge fight between us and as usual he started insulting me and my weight. I put on my sneakers and just started to walk. I walked five miles that first night. I kept circling the same block to keep myself safe but I walked. I got into the house and drank three bottles of water and showered. You know what happened, I felt better and less stressed. The next morning I woke up with a new clarity that I have not had in a long time.  I was able to freelance with less distraction that day. I made it a point to  make dinner early. I started my walk that night walking my dog then I did another five miles and ended the walk taking my dog out for a cool down lap.   

In two weeks time I lost ten pounds.  My anxiety started to go down and my mood became lighter.  I walk every night as much as I can.  I don't feel right if I don't walk because it's my time and it gives me a chance to walk and listen to music just have some peace.  My kids love the change they see in me now as well and know I am a lot calmer and happier since I started my walking. 

Why am I telling you this? Because now I am down to 221 pounds. This is a huge thing for me. I have not weighed 221 pounds since I gave birth to my fourth daughter Sarah fifteen years ago.  I have done it, I have gotten down past what I weighed from before and after I had my son twelve years ago and now under the weight of my fourth child.  I am slowly doing it and I am so excited.

But with everything good there have been many of bad comments about my weight loss. Such as I have been accused of only losing the weight to get my kids dad back.  Don't make me laugh. If he couldn't love me for who I was before I lost the weight then he does not deserve to be with the new fit me.  My fat clothes are getting looser by the week and the funny thing is I have had to re-purpose some of my older fat clothes because I wore them out, thank god I make recycled blankets and quilts and rugs.  I have also had worn out two pairs of my older sneakers.

Now walking isn't the only change I have made.  I have also changed my diet and life habits a bit. I cut soda out except for a few a month. I eat smaller meals more frequently. One thing I have not done is cut carbohydrates and sugar, and junk out. I just eat less of it. I also upped my water intake as well, which has helped me so much!  Another thing I have done is I also started new routines for me such as sleeping earlier and keeping myself on a schedule as best I can.

The thing is if I can do it anyone else can!  I made tweaks to my life and I am on the path to a healthier and happy life! Since I have lost over sixty pounds I have had less anxiety and depression. Remember though if you suffer from anxiety and depression or are on any other type of medications always consult your doctor before and during weight loss to make sure your medications are okay.  During my weight loss journey my Doctor made sure my medications were still okay after my weight dropped.

You can do it! You are not alone!

Blessings and Hope To You All,
Angie

Oh the struggle.  Funny diet memes for people who love fitness, the gym, and FOOD!  #burritosarelife

Sunday, November 18, 2018

The Toast To The Exhausted Mom At The Holidays


I think I have cracked a few yawns just bringing up the blog page to write this. But seriously while Santa is hoarding all the Christmas Elves at the north pole we the regular run of the mill mom's are in a holiday rush.  I will admit things are a bit less crazy for me this year as I am not doing the retail store thing.  If you're a Mama who is working at a retail store I salute you and for whoever wants to be mean to that Mama who has her soul ensnared by the life sucking demon of the retail work I have one thing to say to you!

"May you walk down a hall of Lego's with bare feet in the dark!"

That's right, I said it! I did eleven years in a retail environment and before that I did food service with both restaurants and stores for another eight. I will never wish those jobs on anyone because people during the holiday season can be downright evil!  I am thankful, although I do Customer Service from home now I at least don't have to worry about having chainsaws, garage door openers, toasters and various items thrown at my head! Although I sometimes think my facial expressions were the reasons I had things thrown at me. I know I do not have to worry about having to deal with as many Scrooges as before.

I just want to gently remind the moms as much as we all want to be superhuman this time of year 
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
Do not forget to take care of yourself! Just like you all I want to do is go overboard and do as much as I can for my kids and be everything to everyone. But lets be honest, there is not enough time in the day. So this holiday season, let me be the reminder that yes, you can say no to people, yes, you do not have to commit yourself to every little thing!  Will cousin Caroline get mad your not going to cook for her party who cares its her party let her go get a party platter from the deli and be done with it!  It is not your problem to satisfy everyone!  You are there for only one thing and one thing only and that's to make sure you and your kids are happy! 

Christmas cards not done? Toss those babies in the corner and snuggle with the family and watch a holiday movie! Feel guilty? Write them out after Christmas and let it be a winter season card! No, seriously, I have a friend who sends out cards after Christmas with a picture in it of the family Christmas morning together and she focuses on the holiday season instead of the day in her cards! 

Christmas Cookies? Well, I am a baker and sometimes it's hard to make the cookies. But don't be afraid to get some cut and bake if you have to! Same with deserts?  Publix makes amazing deserts in Florida, where I am. If you don't have Publix I bet your local bakeries are taking orders now!

While your at it Christmas dinner! Don't go crazy! I normally keep dinner rolls and sandwich meat for lunches or even finger food appetizers which are heat and serves! Then for dinner, throw a ham in and let everyone pick you don't have to do fifteen different sides! Make it easy on yourself! I myself am looking at a ham to cook in the crock pot this year!  Why? Because I can!

Pick and choose your battles ladies because you know what you can handle.  I myself will be making sure I am relaxing with the ones I love the most this holiday season!

Blessings and Love,

Angie

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring, except the Mother, who was busting butt to make sure everything is perfect for everybody.

Tuesday, October 23, 2018

QUOTE MASHUP CHALLENGE!

I am a writer and once in a while, I get these writing challenges to work on our skills or just have fun.
When this challenge came about I decided that I had to participate and try my hand.
Rules: Take a bunch of quotes and mash them up with a new one. You don't need to use the whole quote but a recognizable portion of it!


He grabbed her arm trying to stop her as he whispered, "You can't fight the coming storm!"

Shaking his hand off of her arm, she held her head high as she adjusted her crown.

He didn't realize that she had known her worth for a while now and that she is stronger than they think.

She started walking like everyone who had ever doubted was watching her.

Doing so strengthened the courage she knew she had in her all along.

Standing tall she called her flying monkeys to her side not willing to leave them to this disaster of a circus.

Using all of the bravery she knew she had in her heart, she turned back to look at him declaring

"You poor child when are you going to learn I am the coming storm!"

With that, she walked out the door never to take his shit ever again!

***************************************************


That was the quote mashup challenge. Add your own in the comments below.


Saturday, October 13, 2018

NEVER GIVE UP


Never give up!
Never Settle!
When they push you push back.
In the end you are all you have to depend on so make sure you are ready to fight for you!

Sunday, September 30, 2018

WHAT THE PAST YEAR DID

The 10 Most Inspiring Quotes Of All Time | Bloglovin' Lifestyle | Bloglovin̢۪
Good evening everyone, I am writing this as I sit in my room/office eating my dinner of a PB and J. Yes, there is plenty of food in the house, however, I fed the kids earlier and to be honest I just didn't want to cook tonight! Why? Well, I caught the awful bug going around and I have been miserable for almost seventy-two hours!  Sparing you my battle I can eat a little bit again so I decided this was the extent of my cooking adventure tonight, although I have a crazy hankering for Mexican go figure! 

But back to the topic at hand the last year's adventure!  If you would have told me a year ago I would be in this place of my life I would have laughed at you and asked if you were running a fever!  But my life was twisted into something I never thought it was going to be. It was the beginning of my rebirth!

I had faith in someone who took that faith and destroyed it... But you know what all he did was destroyed the illusion that he had put in front of me. This time almost a full year now I was given a world-shattering realization that I had been used and played/by the man I had given my heart too. That forced me real fast to look at him in a new light and realize after eighteen years of marriage everything I thought about him was a facade and I had a nervous breakdown. No, seriously, I ended up having a five-day vacation at a facility to help me deal with the emotional trauma I was shocked into. (Dr's words, not mine.) Since then I had to come to terms with something I had known for years and that was I was married to a Narcissist. But in doing so sprang a greater realization and that was I am going to be okay. I realized I didn't need him and I could be a mom without having to be a wife and he was not the end all in my world. That realization set me free... Kinda. Not going into that right now, but trust me, I am getting stronger now from everything that happened then.

After all of this happened I came to a major back to back life event that changed my world for the better. I became a Meemaw for the first time. All the crap that was going on and my oldest daughter and son-in-law had their first child.  My life perspective hit real fast because there is this amazing little girl who unknowingly gave me a reason not to give up. Not that my kids were not a reason anyway, but I am a young Grandmother. I am only forty-one and I have this amazing Granddaughter who got all the best from both her mom and her dad and I another part of my heart flew open and welcomed her unconditionally!

Then in the end of January, I was given the pink slip after working for Sears for eleven and a half years. Cutbacks. But seriously, they just didn't want to pay for full-timers and dedicated employees.  But I am thankful because the store I worked out was who could do what for who and with the exception of one or two managers it was who was the best buddy in there. I cried for about two seconds and then basically was like, 'forget this place I am better off'. I have since found a better job and have started building my blog and business up again and I am happier and don't have to worry about being punished because of my anxiety that sears caused. The only thing I miss is a handful of the people. Also, because of this, I was able to go meet my granddaughter for three weeks and see my oldest as they were living in Texas at the time. I have quite a few amazing memories and would like to go back one day and explore other parts of Texas as well.

The day I turned forty-one I realized that the next year will bring even more changes but I am ready for it. As long as I have my kids and pets I will be okay and I will be able to handle everything.  I am a strong person and can do whatever I set my mind to and believe me it took a long while to get into this frame of mind.  I want adventure and fun with my kids! I am a hopeless romantic and maybe I will find someone someday that will see me for who I really am instead of a person that they want to manipulate but I have faith that maybe one day! So my advice to you is I went through hell to get to a good spot and I believe that anyone can get to their good spot as well. That is my completely vague what happened in the last year post because to keep myself in the good spot I need to keep some things quiet for a bit longer.  But it's okay because I am okay and I am making sure my kids are okay!

Blessings and Love,
Angie


Saturday, September 22, 2018

MY FAVORITE SEASON


People always find it humorous that my favourite time of year is the fall! I get ribbing because people say the only reason I love the fall is because I dread the horrible Florida heat! I can understand the thought on that because we are a week from October and are still sitting in the mid nineties.


However, truth be told I just love everything fall. I mean besides the cooler temperatures there is the fabulous colors such as the oranges, browns and greens!


I would love nothing more than to take a walk in the woods or sit on the porch with a hot tea in my hand and a good book in my lap. This would also be a amazing time to paint the colors of the season.


Regardless there is always a good reason to like the fall. Everything from cooler temperatures to scents and smells from all fall related items.  Enjoy it and know your lucky because in Florida we are still quite warm and will be like that till winter hits!!

Blessings to all,

Angie