Tuesday, November 29, 2016

A Daily Struggle My Goal To Find My Happiness!

I am not writing this to have people give me sympathy or compassion I am writing this so people know they are not alone.  So here it goes!

My name is Angie I am a married thirty-nine-year-old mom of five.  I am blessed to have a full-time job, a roof over my head and food to feed my family.  What I am not is happy!  I suffer from mild depression and high Anxiety.  I have gotten so bad that I have fought with my husband and kids.  Afterward, I regret it and feel like an evil monster.  However, I am currently trying to evict the monster.  I am also trying to change my life for the better. I truly want to be happy.  I love my husband more than anything with the exception of our kids. I don't want my kids seeing me miserable in my life and thinking mom was nothing more than a hot mess.  I am not a doctor or a psychologist I am just someone who wants everyone to know your not alone.  I am working towards my happy ending (oh god I just referenced Once Upon A Time)  So here is how I am doing that.

1.  I joined two amazing mom bloggers pages and I log in when they live stream.  So ladies go check out That's Inappropriate and The Joy of Moms.  Listening to them and seeing all the moms helps me know the struggle is real and I am not alone.  Also, Meredith from That's Inappropriate just released a book called SCOOP THE POOP.  I was crying within reading the first chapter because I can relate to what she went through because I am going through it right now.

2.I have had to decide on what is truly important to me what I can live and live without.  I know what I can live with.  What I can not live without are my husband and children.  I need them like I need oxygen.  They are the reason I want to be happy again.  I want to be happy.

3.  What makes me unhappy?  Well, my job!  I am not fond of it there has been way too many changes for my liking.  My husband has told me to quit but unfortunately I had to take a leave from work thanks to a small surgery and I know I will have to have another one soon so I need that pesky medical insurance and the income for a while longer.  Trust me when I say I want to go but I need to have income first and these past 8 weeks have been rather expensive.  I can't have the hubby bail us out of it because I don't want him to get stressed and sick.  Plus I need medical insurance.  I can't believe I am saying this I can't leave my job because I need the medical and to pay my bills.

4. What else makes me unhappy... well this one is gong to spark a few big Fuck You's but My extended Family and friends.  Let us start with my friends I have a small group of friends that are so amazing I mean seriously they all called checked on me and made sure I was okay.  I honestly never felt more caring.  Now don't get me wrong I also learned the hard way in the last few months that people you thought were your closest friends can turn on you as well.  I have been thrown aside and thrown under the proverbial bus by someone that was supposed to be a good friend.  Its funny I am not angry and mad just really disappointed in that person.  All I can say is Karma!

Family.... I honestly believe at times that should be the new F word.  The amazing ones are taken far too soon and then your left with the ones you can't figure out and the bottom feeders,  See in my family my parents were not liked very well.  I can see why my mom was as two-faced as she could be I mean literally, if she did something for you I can guarantee it was talked about behind your back.  My Dad well my dad is the biggest story teller ever and I mean this not in a good way.  The man was abusive to not only my mom but to me.  My mom had finally got fed up and I had given her money to leave him.  Too bad the next week she died. But all my moms and dads side of the family knew how they were.  They honestly think that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.  Well, guess what not only did I fall far but I rolled down the hill boarded a train and never looked back.  My own sister and brother that's another story but not me,  I feel that even my own kids get looked down upon by my side of the family.

Hubby's side of the family of good sans a few of them.  As my sister in law used to say, Angie, we never know what's next with you.  Yeah, I have shocked a few of them but I definitely don't have a lot of room for tact.

Now don't get me wrong I love my family and always will I have cousins whom I am so proud of and I adore a few of my Aunts and Uncles.  My family just sees my parents, not me!

5. Getting my hobbies on!  That's right I want to be well so I have started a few hobbies.  What are they you might ask?  Well, I try to garden.  I say try very loosely because the only thing I can really grow is peppers.  You know what I will take that because I happen to like peppers.  I also love to bake I always have loved to make cookies and sweets and always want to learn more and expand on that.  I try and my meals are never really Pinterest worthy.  However, my cookies and sweets are. 

6.  I also love to write.  I am currently working on a few stories that I want to put out on the nook and Kindle Platforms.  I also started to continue working on a hardcover book that I have had in the works since I was 15 years old.  I am so excited.  Thank god for technology because I can write my ideas down and then work on the outline via Nook press or Kindle.

7. Getting myself back to where I feel comfortable. I am very overweight right now and I hate it.  When I say hate I mean with a passion.  Now that I am in the final stages of my recovery from this surgery my goal is to lose half my weight.  I know I can do it I am just scared.  

8. Last but not least my job.  I think I have stopped liking my job a while ago, however I love a bunch of the people I work with and after being with the company over 10 years I truly can say I work with some of the most amazing people ever.  But yes I would love to leave my job.  Currently, I have a big whopping $.22 in my savings account and that needs to be upwards to $5000- $10000 before I even consider leaving.  However, I have been taken under a great freelancers wing and she has been showing and teaching me how to be a productive awesome home freelancer so you never know what might happen.  I know writing can be difficult to make money with but I was told by a very amazing person when she is gone she expects me to follow my dreams because I can't expect my kids to follow theirs if I don't follow mine.

Well, everyone, I know that was a complete unload I just did,  However, I want you all to know you are not alone. I want to be happy and I am planning on making the rest of 2016 and all of 2017 the time for changes and fun.

May you all be blessed many times over,

Sunday, November 20, 2016

Baby Its Cold Outside

Well as i am here laying in bed waking up for the third time today i noticed how cold it is outside the blankets.  Yes, we have heaters for the house i just forgot to get them out of the shed because you know I am still recovering from surgery.  However, I am such a lucky mom my kids did help me cover my plants with sheets to hopefully save them through this cold spell. Then I wondered why it felt so cold and holy cold snap its 36 degrees.  By golly I forget we get this cold this is Florida.  But no seriously I prepped earlier today, my kids prefer blankets to heaters and I got out thier coats for school.  I just hope hubby remembered to take his coat out of his trunk. Well everyone stay warm where ever you are tonight.  Also, I dont care if I sound like a public safety announcement please heat your home safely.


Thursday, November 17, 2016

Turkey Day Food Memories!!

When I was a kid I would have to say Thanksgiving was such memorable occasion.  It didn't matter whose house it was at but for me we were all together as a family.  My Grandmother whom I was extremely close to even said she would have done anything to have those days back again once all of us kids had gotten older.  If we got to my families house early the first thing us kids would have done was watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.  My Poppy normally would join us kids for this while sneaking us kids little candies. Then after the parade we would go to my cousins playroom and hangout, then once the ladies of the house had to finish prepping everything the adults would put us in our warmest coats and send us outside, When we were at my aunt and uncles house that would include our uncle taking us on turns through the woods in tubes or in the cart behind his three-wheeler.

Then there was the dinner!! We had the adult tables and the kids table, us kids used to joke we couldn't wait to get to the adult table. Finally when we were finally old enough they combined the tables and made it one,  I guess the joke was on us.

I miss those days still but family grew apart for whatever reason and we got older. However one of the things I always remember is the food.  God there was always a huge amount of food and people wonder were I get it from when it comes to my dinners.

Some of these foods I still do till this day!  Why not they are still a family and friend favorite and to me they are still traditional as can be.  Here are lists of the food we used to and some new things we have added over the years.

First would be the appetizers:
Mozzarella Sticks
Celery with Cream Cheese and Cranberry Sauce
Pigs in a Blanket 
Vegetable Trays
Chips and Dip
Deviled Eggs
Corn Fritters
Crab Cakes
Cheese and Crackers

Then there was the dinner:
Besides the Turkey(s) there was also Ham
Mashed Potatoes
Sweet Potatoes
Peas with the little Pearl Onions in them
Green Bean Casserole
Broccoli and Cheese
Fried Cauliflower
Cranberry Dressing
Sauteed Mushrooms
Corn Bread

Then Deserts:
Cookies- Assorted and all homemade
Apple Pie
Cherry Pie
Chocolate Cream Pie
Pumpkin Pie

God I know I am forgetting a lot but remembering the food came in second to remembering the family that we had the time with.  As a adult I can honestly say I miss my family being together like we used to when we were little,  It didn't matter who you were when we were together we were family all the differences were put aside for that one day.  I think the biggest part of it is my Grandparents being gone now.  How I would have loved to have had one more big family Thanksgiving with them. Oh how I would have loved to have had my poppy meet my little boy they would have gotten along so well if he was still with us. I could see the look of joy on my Grandmothers face seeing my oldest married and happy. Or how she would have been joyful on how my other three teens had gotten so big and beautiful,  Nothing made Grams more happy then knowing her Grand kids.

Don't get me wrong I am very blessed and thankful for everything I have this Thanksgiving.  But I am also Thankful for the past that I had with my extended family.  Although we don't get a chance to see each other or talk to each other I love them just the same,  Maybe one year we will all come together again and remember all of those who went before us.

Hold those you love near and dear and have a Wonderful and Blessed Thanksgiving.
If you can think of any goodies that I forgot please leave me a comment below!


Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Great Cheap Holiday Gifts 2016

Hello from the recovery room!! As many who follow me on my Facebook page and The Blog's Facebook Page knows that I had out patient surgery yesterday.  Well; I am home and recovering and as hard as it is for me to say relaxing.  As someone who is always on the go I am not used to sitting and doing nothing, my Crazy has been put on a slow warm right now.  But it has given me some awesome time to run through Pininterest and find some amazing things to share with you for some quick, easy and cheap things to do this holiday season!!  Remember first and foremost homemade gifts are the best!!  I am always getting hints for homemade!  These amazing pinner's have some fabulous ideas so check out their blogs and pages!! So lets start...

Seriously how great smelling would these be!! Especially if you have a friend that just got a new place and are needing some Christmas decor with this clay your imagination is the limit!
NO COOK CINNAMON ORNAMENT CLAY- takes 1 minute to make & smells AMAZING!:

Do you have a steady hand with a paint brush.  Have a friend or family member who could use a great reminder of the season. Most dollar trees carry heavy duty poster board which I have personally used as canvas before.  Who wouldn't love a homemade picture!
May Your Days Be Merry & Bright - Print #Christmas #Food #Gifts
I know all my friends like candles.  So here is a great idea to use with your old mason jars, pasta sauce, or any old food jars with.  Be creative and its a great way to recycle!!
DIY Stenciled Mason Jar Candle Holder Christmas Lights Instruction - DIY Christmas Mason Jar Lighting #Craft Ideas:

Who doesn't like little keepsakes that can be reused each year!! Especially when its made with the kids help!!!
DIY No-Sew Sock Snowman Craft for Kids and Grownups. Such a fun DIY Gift Idea:

Here is one for that nature lover in your life!!!  Especially here in the south where birds don't leave.
A festive craft the kids will enjoy making and the the birds will love! A homemade birdseed Christmas ornament is inexpensive and exactly what your naked, winter tree needs.:

Now what about for you bakers!  Who wouldn't love to receive some amazing baked goods.
Easy Christmas Tree Brownies #BelongAtBCC:

These were just a few simple ideas that could help you along this Holiday Season!!  Presents do not have to be a expensive this holiday season if you do it from the heart.  Remember its not the price of the gift but the thought that counts!  If you have any idea's please post it below I would love to see them.

Holiday Cheer Everyone!

Sunday, November 13, 2016

Small Business Month!!!

Well it's that time of year and I know I always give advice on how not to be a Scrooge and how to treat your retail people  right!  I also give great links for cheap homemade Christmas gifts as well!!  However here is a big thing to do over the holiday season shop your mom and pop shops and small businesses.  

So instead of small business Saturday I am doing Small Business November and December.  I am spotlighting a post that will be on both my business site and my personal blog till December 31st.  You can be anywhere in the nation to share your link and what you do.

I ask only 3 things 1 post a link to your business with contact info,  Post your home area if you are a service (remember most of us ship when it comes to physical goods), and most of all respect the people who are offering a service.  I will delete all negative as I want this to be a good thing!

So Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas,  Happy Kwanzaa,  Happy Winter Solstice, Happy Hanukkah!!! May this holiday season be filled with warm wishes and Happy Memories.

Thinking Of You All,


Friday, November 4, 2016

Fun Foods Friday!!

What can I say fun foods Friday is where I spend the day making odds and ends to hold over my Army while I am at work for the weekend!  Today's menu includes but not limited to:

Chocolate pudding
Butter Pecan Cake
Pigs in a Blanket 
BBQ Beef Ribs
Chicken Meatballs in Honey BBQ Sauce
Spinach Ham Cheese Quiche
French Toast Casserole
Salmon Potato Cakes

Why you may ask?  Well I work all weekend and I want to make sure they are eating what I want them to. But seriously I HATE food waste.  It is one of my pet peeves.  But seriously am I the only one who does this?  I really can't be can I?  Let me know if you do this when you know your going to have a busy few days or weekend I want to know your thoughts as well.
 I hope you all have a great Friday!!!


Wednesday, November 2, 2016

How A Little TYPO Made For A Amazing Tradition!

How The NORAD Santa Tracker Got Its Start

Okay guys and girls first for those who really know me they know that I am a compulsive obsessive person when it comes to the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays.  I am also in love with a good story as much as the next person. So last year when I stumbled upon this story about how NORAD started tracking Santa I had a good chuckle.  Then to my surprise I was looking at pins on Pinterest tonight and behold the story of the Santa Tracker reappeared in my thread so I figured it was fate I had to share the story with the world. 

 The whole NORAD tracking Santa started because of a typo in the paper. Here is a picture of the ad that Sears Roebuck and Co. posted over 60 years ago.  They didn't realize it but that phone number was not to the Santa they had in place but to the Continental Air Defense Center (Now NORAD).

How would you have felt as someone who works at a military installation  getting a call on the red phone hearing a tiny little voice asking if they could talk to Santa.   However our military men who were working that night proved they were even bigger hero's by just going with it.  But what really warms my heart is that NORAD did not stop at a one time thing, This has become a tradition that has spanned the generations since 1955.  It has become such a tradition that NORAD employees plus others volunteer their time on Christmas Eve to make children happy. But seriously looking at these pictures in the CNN ARTICLE I think the volunteers are just as excited as the kids.

I mean seriously when NORAD releases this statement you know they have the spirit of the Christmas Holiday!

"Our constellation of defense satellites "uses infrared tracking to keep pinpoint accuracy on the heat signature from Rudolph's nose," NORAD says in its promotional materials. "Ground based radar tracking sites relay global positioning updates to our elite fighter pilots, who often escort Santa's sleigh through rough weather." 

On Christmas Eve I always run the Santa Tracker Application on my cell phone... And before you say anything yes I have it on my phone it goes live December first and then does a countdown till when Santa Takes off on December 24th, It however has a NORAD link and that is A+ in my book so the kids and we adults can learn about whats going on in our Military.  Plus don't judge me I have a Christmas Countdown as well!  Below is a shot of what the Tracker looks like in Goggle Play!

Or if you want you can check out the physical website HERE.  This website also goes live with Santa's take off countdown on December 1st as well.

As someone whose family has had a rough year with loss please remember what the holidays are really about. To some there are religious aspects but the underlying theme has been that these holidays are about family and friends.  Keep that door open to everyone who is in your heart and keep a extra plate at your table.  May you be blessed beyond measure this holiday season.


P.S. let me know what you think comment below!!