I know, I know What am I selling right? Nope, Not Selling a thing! See, the thing is I think I have tried so many different diets I had just given up. Back in Mid August of this year my Anxiety and Depression were at its worst. I was eating to comfort myself because I knew my marriage was completely over and my emotions were a huge mess. Then it happened for a week I couldn't get out of bed, I was feeling so sick I was getting massive migraines and I wanted it all to just end. What changed? What caused me to make a leap of faith and take control of my life, health and future?
I was scrolling through my Facebook feed and in my memories of the day a very important person who had since passed away had left a message on my wall a few years ago to cheer me up,
"You are important and you matter!
No matter what happens in the future know that
You are stronger than you think
Braver Than you know
And you will get through this"
Part Winnie The Pooh, Part her normal encouragement.
That night I weighed myself and was crying because there on the scale my weight said I was 285 pounds. I was sickened to think that I did this to myself. I was five foot six, this is the most I have ever weighed in my life. I think I cried for three hours straight. Then later that night my kids dad came home and there was a huge fight between us and as usual he started insulting me and my weight. I put on my sneakers and just started to walk. I walked five miles that first night. I kept circling the same block to keep myself safe but I walked. I got into the house and drank three bottles of water and showered. You know what happened, I felt better and less stressed. The next morning I woke up with a new clarity that I have not had in a long time. I was able to freelance with less distraction that day. I made it a point to make dinner early. I started my walk that night walking my dog then I did another five miles and ended the walk taking my dog out for a cool down lap.
In two weeks time I lost ten pounds. My anxiety started to go down and my mood became lighter. I walk every night as much as I can. I don't feel right if I don't walk because it's my time and it gives me a chance to walk and listen to music just have some peace. My kids love the change they see in me now as well and know I am a lot calmer and happier since I started my walking.
Why am I telling you this? Because now I am down to 221 pounds. This is a huge thing for me. I have not weighed 221 pounds since I gave birth to my fourth daughter Sarah fifteen years ago. I have done it, I have gotten down past what I weighed from before and after I had my son twelve years ago and now under the weight of my fourth child. I am slowly doing it and I am so excited.
But with everything good there have been many of bad comments about my weight loss. Such as I have been accused of only losing the weight to get my kids dad back. Don't make me laugh. If he couldn't love me for who I was before I lost the weight then he does not deserve to be with the new fit me. My fat clothes are getting looser by the week and the funny thing is I have had to re-purpose some of my older fat clothes because I wore them out, thank god I make recycled blankets and quilts and rugs. I have also had worn out two pairs of my older sneakers.
Now walking isn't the only change I have made. I have also changed my diet and life habits a bit. I cut soda out except for a few a month. I eat smaller meals more frequently. One thing I have not done is cut carbohydrates and sugar, and junk out. I just eat less of it. I also upped my water intake as well, which has helped me so much! Another thing I have done is I also started new routines for me such as sleeping earlier and keeping myself on a schedule as best I can.
The thing is if I can do it anyone else can! I made tweaks to my life and I am on the path to a healthier and happy life! Since I have lost over sixty pounds I have had less anxiety and depression. Remember though if you suffer from anxiety and depression or are on any other type of medications always consult your doctor before and during weight loss to make sure your medications are okay. During my weight loss journey my Doctor made sure my medications were still okay after my weight dropped.
I think I have cracked a few yawns just bringing up the blog page to write this. But seriously while Santa is hoarding all the Christmas Elves at the north pole we the regular run of the mill mom's are in a holiday rush. I will admit things are a bit less crazy for me this year as I am not doing the retail store thing. If you're a Mama who is working at a retail store I salute you and for whoever wants to be mean to that Mama who has her soul ensnared by the life sucking demon of the retail work I have one thing to say to you!
"May you walk down a hall of Lego's with bare feet in the dark!"
That's right, I said it! I did eleven years in a retail environment and before that I did food service with both restaurants and stores for another eight. I will never wish those jobs on anyone because people during the holiday season can be downright evil! I am thankful, although I do Customer Service from home now I at least don't have to worry about having chainsaws, garage door openers, toasters and various items thrown at my head! Although I sometimes think my facial expressions were the reasons I had things thrown at me. I know I do not have to worry about having to deal with as many Scrooges as before.
I just want to gently remind the moms as much as we all want to be superhuman this time of year
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
Do not forget to take care of yourself! Just like you all I want to do is go overboard and do as much as I can for my kids and be everything to everyone. But lets be honest, there is not enough time in the day. So this holiday season, let me be the reminder that yes, you can say no to people, yes, you do not have to commit yourself to every little thing! Will cousin Caroline get mad your not going to cook for her party who cares its her party let her go get a party platter from the deli and be done with it! It is not your problem to satisfy everyone! You are there for only one thing and one thing only and that's to make sure you and your kids are happy!
Christmas cards not done? Toss those babies in the corner and snuggle with the family and watch a holiday movie! Feel guilty? Write them out after Christmas and let it be a winter season card! No, seriously, I have a friend who sends out cards after Christmas with a picture in it of the family Christmas morning together and she focuses on the holiday season instead of the day in her cards!
Christmas Cookies? Well, I am a baker and sometimes it's hard to make the cookies. But don't be afraid to get some cut and bake if you have to! Same with deserts? Publix makes amazing deserts in Florida, where I am. If you don't have Publix I bet your local bakeries are taking orders now!
While your at it Christmas dinner! Don't go crazy! I normally keep dinner rolls and sandwich meat for lunches or even finger food appetizers which are heat and serves! Then for dinner, throw a ham in and let everyone pick you don't have to do fifteen different sides! Make it easy on yourself! I myself am looking at a ham to cook in the crock pot this year! Why? Because I can!
Pick and choose your battles ladies because you know what you can handle. I myself will be making sure I am relaxing with the ones I love the most this holiday season!