Thursday, November 22, 2018

The Battle Of The Bulge: A Personal Story

I know, I know What am I selling right? Nope, Not Selling a thing!  See, the thing is I think I have tried so many different diets I had just given up. Back in  Mid August of this year my Anxiety and Depression were at its worst. I was eating to comfort myself because I knew my marriage was completely over and my emotions were a huge mess. Then it happened for a week I couldn't get out of bed, I was feeling so sick I was getting massive migraines and I wanted it all to just end.  What changed? What caused me to make a leap of faith and take control of my life, health and future?

I was scrolling through my Facebook feed and in my memories of the day a very important person who had since passed away had left a message on my wall a few years ago to cheer me up,

"You are important and you matter! 
No matter what happens in the future know that
You are stronger than you think
Braver Than you know
And you will get through this"

Part Winnie The Pooh, Part her normal encouragement. 

That night I weighed myself and was crying because there on the scale my weight said I was 285 pounds. I was sickened to think that I did this to myself. I was five foot six, this is the most I have ever weighed in my life.  I think I cried for three hours straight. Then later that night my kids dad came home and there was a huge fight between us and as usual he started insulting me and my weight. I put on my sneakers and just started to walk. I walked five miles that first night. I kept circling the same block to keep myself safe but I walked. I got into the house and drank three bottles of water and showered. You know what happened, I felt better and less stressed. The next morning I woke up with a new clarity that I have not had in a long time.  I was able to freelance with less distraction that day. I made it a point to  make dinner early. I started my walk that night walking my dog then I did another five miles and ended the walk taking my dog out for a cool down lap.   

In two weeks time I lost ten pounds.  My anxiety started to go down and my mood became lighter.  I walk every night as much as I can.  I don't feel right if I don't walk because it's my time and it gives me a chance to walk and listen to music just have some peace.  My kids love the change they see in me now as well and know I am a lot calmer and happier since I started my walking. 

Why am I telling you this? Because now I am down to 221 pounds. This is a huge thing for me. I have not weighed 221 pounds since I gave birth to my fourth daughter Sarah fifteen years ago.  I have done it, I have gotten down past what I weighed from before and after I had my son twelve years ago and now under the weight of my fourth child.  I am slowly doing it and I am so excited.

But with everything good there have been many of bad comments about my weight loss. Such as I have been accused of only losing the weight to get my kids dad back.  Don't make me laugh. If he couldn't love me for who I was before I lost the weight then he does not deserve to be with the new fit me.  My fat clothes are getting looser by the week and the funny thing is I have had to re-purpose some of my older fat clothes because I wore them out, thank god I make recycled blankets and quilts and rugs.  I have also had worn out two pairs of my older sneakers.

Now walking isn't the only change I have made.  I have also changed my diet and life habits a bit. I cut soda out except for a few a month. I eat smaller meals more frequently. One thing I have not done is cut carbohydrates and sugar, and junk out. I just eat less of it. I also upped my water intake as well, which has helped me so much!  Another thing I have done is I also started new routines for me such as sleeping earlier and keeping myself on a schedule as best I can.

The thing is if I can do it anyone else can!  I made tweaks to my life and I am on the path to a healthier and happy life! Since I have lost over sixty pounds I have had less anxiety and depression. Remember though if you suffer from anxiety and depression or are on any other type of medications always consult your doctor before and during weight loss to make sure your medications are okay.  During my weight loss journey my Doctor made sure my medications were still okay after my weight dropped.

You can do it! You are not alone!

Blessings and Hope To You All,
Angie

Oh the struggle.  Funny diet memes for people who love fitness, the gym, and FOOD!  #burritosarelife

Sunday, November 18, 2018

The Toast To The Exhausted Mom At The Holidays


I think I have cracked a few yawns just bringing up the blog page to write this. But seriously while Santa is hoarding all the Christmas Elves at the north pole we the regular run of the mill mom's are in a holiday rush.  I will admit things are a bit less crazy for me this year as I am not doing the retail store thing.  If you're a Mama who is working at a retail store I salute you and for whoever wants to be mean to that Mama who has her soul ensnared by the life sucking demon of the retail work I have one thing to say to you!

"May you walk down a hall of Lego's with bare feet in the dark!"

That's right, I said it! I did eleven years in a retail environment and before that I did food service with both restaurants and stores for another eight. I will never wish those jobs on anyone because people during the holiday season can be downright evil!  I am thankful, although I do Customer Service from home now I at least don't have to worry about having chainsaws, garage door openers, toasters and various items thrown at my head! Although I sometimes think my facial expressions were the reasons I had things thrown at me. I know I do not have to worry about having to deal with as many Scrooges as before.

I just want to gently remind the moms as much as we all want to be superhuman this time of year 
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
Do not forget to take care of yourself! Just like you all I want to do is go overboard and do as much as I can for my kids and be everything to everyone. But lets be honest, there is not enough time in the day. So this holiday season, let me be the reminder that yes, you can say no to people, yes, you do not have to commit yourself to every little thing!  Will cousin Caroline get mad your not going to cook for her party who cares its her party let her go get a party platter from the deli and be done with it!  It is not your problem to satisfy everyone!  You are there for only one thing and one thing only and that's to make sure you and your kids are happy! 

Christmas cards not done? Toss those babies in the corner and snuggle with the family and watch a holiday movie! Feel guilty? Write them out after Christmas and let it be a winter season card! No, seriously, I have a friend who sends out cards after Christmas with a picture in it of the family Christmas morning together and she focuses on the holiday season instead of the day in her cards! 

Christmas Cookies? Well, I am a baker and sometimes it's hard to make the cookies. But don't be afraid to get some cut and bake if you have to! Same with deserts?  Publix makes amazing deserts in Florida, where I am. If you don't have Publix I bet your local bakeries are taking orders now!

While your at it Christmas dinner! Don't go crazy! I normally keep dinner rolls and sandwich meat for lunches or even finger food appetizers which are heat and serves! Then for dinner, throw a ham in and let everyone pick you don't have to do fifteen different sides! Make it easy on yourself! I myself am looking at a ham to cook in the crock pot this year!  Why? Because I can!

Pick and choose your battles ladies because you know what you can handle.  I myself will be making sure I am relaxing with the ones I love the most this holiday season!

Blessings and Love,

Angie

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring, except the Mother, who was busting butt to make sure everything is perfect for everybody.

Tuesday, October 23, 2018

QUOTE MASHUP CHALLENGE!

I am a writer and once in a while, I get these writing challenges to work on our skills or just have fun.
When this challenge came about I decided that I had to participate and try my hand.
Rules: Take a bunch of quotes and mash them up with a new one. You don't need to use the whole quote but a recognizable portion of it!


He grabbed her arm trying to stop her as he whispered, "You can't fight the coming storm!"

Shaking his hand off of her arm, she held her head high as she adjusted her crown.

He didn't realize that she had known her worth for a while now and that she is stronger than they think.

She started walking like everyone who had ever doubted was watching her.

Doing so strengthened the courage she knew she had in her all along.

Standing tall she called her flying monkeys to her side not willing to leave them to this disaster of a circus.

Using all of the bravery she knew she had in her heart, she turned back to look at him declaring

"You poor child when are you going to learn I am the coming storm!"

With that, she walked out the door never to take his shit ever again!

***************************************************


That was the quote mashup challenge. Add your own in the comments below.


Saturday, October 13, 2018

NEVER GIVE UP


Never give up!
Never Settle!
When they push you push back.
In the end you are all you have to depend on so make sure you are ready to fight for you!

Sunday, September 30, 2018

WHAT THE PAST YEAR DID

The 10 Most Inspiring Quotes Of All Time | Bloglovin' Lifestyle | Bloglovin̢۪
Good evening everyone, I am writing this as I sit in my room/office eating my dinner of a PB and J. Yes, there is plenty of food in the house, however, I fed the kids earlier and to be honest I just didn't want to cook tonight! Why? Well, I caught the awful bug going around and I have been miserable for almost seventy-two hours!  Sparing you my battle I can eat a little bit again so I decided this was the extent of my cooking adventure tonight, although I have a crazy hankering for Mexican go figure! 

But back to the topic at hand the last year's adventure!  If you would have told me a year ago I would be in this place of my life I would have laughed at you and asked if you were running a fever!  But my life was twisted into something I never thought it was going to be. It was the beginning of my rebirth!

I had faith in someone who took that faith and destroyed it... But you know what all he did was destroyed the illusion that he had put in front of me. This time almost a full year now I was given a world-shattering realization that I had been used and played/by the man I had given my heart too. That forced me real fast to look at him in a new light and realize after eighteen years of marriage everything I thought about him was a facade and I had a nervous breakdown. No, seriously, I ended up having a five-day vacation at a facility to help me deal with the emotional trauma I was shocked into. (Dr's words, not mine.) Since then I had to come to terms with something I had known for years and that was I was married to a Narcissist. But in doing so sprang a greater realization and that was I am going to be okay. I realized I didn't need him and I could be a mom without having to be a wife and he was not the end all in my world. That realization set me free... Kinda. Not going into that right now, but trust me, I am getting stronger now from everything that happened then.

After all of this happened I came to a major back to back life event that changed my world for the better. I became a Meemaw for the first time. All the crap that was going on and my oldest daughter and son-in-law had their first child.  My life perspective hit real fast because there is this amazing little girl who unknowingly gave me a reason not to give up. Not that my kids were not a reason anyway, but I am a young Grandmother. I am only forty-one and I have this amazing Granddaughter who got all the best from both her mom and her dad and I another part of my heart flew open and welcomed her unconditionally!

Then in the end of January, I was given the pink slip after working for Sears for eleven and a half years. Cutbacks. But seriously, they just didn't want to pay for full-timers and dedicated employees.  But I am thankful because the store I worked out was who could do what for who and with the exception of one or two managers it was who was the best buddy in there. I cried for about two seconds and then basically was like, 'forget this place I am better off'. I have since found a better job and have started building my blog and business up again and I am happier and don't have to worry about being punished because of my anxiety that sears caused. The only thing I miss is a handful of the people. Also, because of this, I was able to go meet my granddaughter for three weeks and see my oldest as they were living in Texas at the time. I have quite a few amazing memories and would like to go back one day and explore other parts of Texas as well.

The day I turned forty-one I realized that the next year will bring even more changes but I am ready for it. As long as I have my kids and pets I will be okay and I will be able to handle everything.  I am a strong person and can do whatever I set my mind to and believe me it took a long while to get into this frame of mind.  I want adventure and fun with my kids! I am a hopeless romantic and maybe I will find someone someday that will see me for who I really am instead of a person that they want to manipulate but I have faith that maybe one day! So my advice to you is I went through hell to get to a good spot and I believe that anyone can get to their good spot as well. That is my completely vague what happened in the last year post because to keep myself in the good spot I need to keep some things quiet for a bit longer.  But it's okay because I am okay and I am making sure my kids are okay!

Blessings and Love,
Angie


Saturday, September 22, 2018

MY FAVORITE SEASON


People always find it humorous that my favourite time of year is the fall! I get ribbing because people say the only reason I love the fall is because I dread the horrible Florida heat! I can understand the thought on that because we are a week from October and are still sitting in the mid nineties.


However, truth be told I just love everything fall. I mean besides the cooler temperatures there is the fabulous colors such as the oranges, browns and greens!


I would love nothing more than to take a walk in the woods or sit on the porch with a hot tea in my hand and a good book in my lap. This would also be a amazing time to paint the colors of the season.


Regardless there is always a good reason to like the fall. Everything from cooler temperatures to scents and smells from all fall related items.  Enjoy it and know your lucky because in Florida we are still quite warm and will be like that till winter hits!!

Blessings to all,

Angie

Saturday, September 15, 2018

DRAMA FREE SATURDAY!

In honor of the weekend let's keep today drama free!




Blessings and Love,

Angie


Monday, September 10, 2018

PRAYERS FOR SAM

This story came across and I am sharing this with you all to get the news out because it's needs coverage now not when she is found!

Sunday, September 9, 2018

WHY I DON"T BELIEVE IN DIETS

junk food bulk

So let me make this clear, I don't believe in diets. However, yes, as people know I am losing weight and keeping it off.  What's this miracle that has kept me from gaining more weight? Well, for one I had to take a good hard look in the mirror and at the numbers on the scale that is conveniently hidden across the house.  See I have been going through a huge rough spot in my life, my husband of now nineteen years decided that once again that I was not worth it and decided to throw away our marriage once again and in true Narcissist form blame me for everything.  Well, guess what I decided to start reevaluating my life and after a lot of thought and self-reflection, I started waking up and coming out of what is known as the Narcissist influence cloud. Ladies as someone who has to deal with it in the daily grind I can tell you it's real and it affected me to the point I was a shadow of my former self. I had literally given up on anything and everything because of the influence I had pushed on me.

I hated what I saw and decided to change it!  I looked at myself and saw someone who had given up all hope and cares about myself and then I decided to get on the scale. I had hit my highest weight ever at 280 pounds.  I stepped off in a panic attack and cried, I couldn't believe that I had gotten that heavy. I looked in the mirror and I hated the person staring back at me.  So I decided to make changes and I had to make sure that these changes were ones that I would be able to work with.  I had never been on the diet train because I cannot and will not cut any foods out of my diet, but I realized I could do it all in moderation.  I went back to my mini plate mentality and something I knew I could control I cut out 80percent of all soda I had been drinking and replaced it with half water and half sweet tea. If you ask why I didn't do unsweetened tea... I am not a heathen I am a southern gal who had to do this her way. Day three of the no soda train and I was suffering from withdrawals and a headache, but I kept with the water and Tea and two days later the headaches stopped and I made it through the first hurdle.  The smaller plates meant I had to go from three full meals to four mini meals a day.  I ate less, but it was spread out and I am full. My binge eating had almost stopped.

But the bad part is I like to  snack.  I decided this was something that would take time for me to battle, but I had a still have a plan. I started working on my third book and focusing more on my blog. Since doing this I have knocked out multiple chapters on not just my newest book, 'The Farm' but also started a few other ideas for books as well as a few You Tube ideas I am working on. The best thing is, my blog has built up from the work I have put into it and my books are getting ready for editing and self-publish.

Win-win right? Wrong!  I was still very out of shape and decided I had to do something about it physically so I started to walk. Now I can hear people now, "Well, I have physical issues!" So do I.  I have a bad knee and a bad ankle that I fractured a few years ago, so trust me I know about physical issues.  But I got off my ass and started walking. A walk around the block is a third of a mile. I started with a mile and am now after a month up to almost four miles.

But fad diets are just that FADS.  The Keto diet scares me! However, I have heard good and bad things about it! But the thing that I hear from all people who stop diets is that as soon as they stopped whatever diet they gained all the weight back. Why torture yourself? 

 I made a lifestyle change instead that has worked.  I eat what I like, but I do eat mini meals. So I don't feel like I am missing out and  I get the foods I like. But the walking has helped me so much because I am now officially down 22 pounds and I have certain areas on my body that are shrinking and tightening! I have noticed that my belly is shrinking as well as around my upper thighs! But most of all I see the person I want to be instead of a walking Zombie. Also, my anxiety and depression have lessened and I am so happy about that.

So do what you need to do is best for you because you are worth it and important!

Much Love and Happy Thoughts,
Angie

Friday, September 7, 2018

KEEP CALM AND LOVE FLORIDA


Hey, all its Angie and I decided to give you a lesson on my state Florida! See I was out the other day and I had some cranky ass New Yorker (Sorry if you live in New York or are from New York, but this butthole was actually bragging about where he was from.) You see I am an actual Florida Cracker!  No, a Cracker is NOT something derogatory it just means that I am a natural born Floridian who has actually stayed here most of her life. It's one of those old-school southern sayings like 'bless your heart' and 'So good you want to slap your Mama'! We Floridians get a whole bunch of crap though, and I feel the need to set the record straight about how things are done around these parts!

First, we do get multiple seasons! But unlike other parts of the country, they range from Hurricane Season to living in Satans Anus season! Why do we tolerate it? Because for anyone who has lived here exclusively for more than ten years, we love it! A few Christmases ago we went swimming on Christmas morning after we opened the presents.  I know what you must be thinking, "Angie you never lived anywhere else, so how would you know about the weather?" Well, I did do a brief five-year punishment having to live in New Jersey and listen I lived near the beach and my Grandparents knew I needed to be out in the sun a few times a week or I became a monster. I love snow seriously, but I love Florida. In my dream world, I would have a home on the water here in Florida and a place in the mountains so I can write as well... One day I will make this happen.

But in all seriousness here is a few things that why some may laugh are true about Floridians and how we are some tough people.

1. We live in a state where one of our top three contributors to our economy is the tourist!  We are not just talking about citizens from other states, but people from all over the world. Our resident Mouse brings them in by the plane loads and then all our other parks and attractions to keep them here vacationing. Florida has an amazing, thriving industry for entertainment as well as history. If they are not visiting an amusement park have you seen our beaches! Then we have many secret hidden gems located all over Florida in our state parks that are not only rich with Nature but with History.  Do yourself a favor if you want to get away from it all, check out my Pinterest board HERE you will not be disappointed!

2. We have this amazing grocery called Publix and they are amazing. There is nothing like a Publix sub! Their cakes are ordered for all important occasions. Or go to Publix and get their 8 piece meal that is a true taste of Florida as well! Plus, as a kid, we always loved getting our free cookie from the bakery! Or if you're not in your Publix you feel lost!  Also, Publix just became more strict with the enforcement of only service animals and making sure animals are out of the shopping cart as true service animals would not need to ride in a shopping cart. They are a tried and true Florida institution.

3. We have amazing weather! Yes, I know we are known as the lightning capital of the world and we get the pesky tropical weather, but when 75% of the time you have sun and a breeze who cares that's why we live here.  As for the pesky tropical weather as I was saying before we Floridians are a tough bunch.  We know when it's lightning out you head indoors. When the tropical weather picks up we have a few things that go through our head. A tropical wave, the tropical storm we just glance at the TV and follow it slightly. Category one we start paying attention to see where the projected path is bringing it to shore. A category 2 we are buying the staples and really watching the projected path as well as starting to make the yards hurricane ready. At this time depending on the landfall area and the projected path we are getting our elderly to where they need to be and families with small kids are starting to leave to family and friend's places that are in safe zones. Now if it's a category three we are deciding and getting hotels outside the path if our home is in a landfill area. Our people who are Floridians are brave, but we don't put our family in a rough spot.  Category four or five we have not only loaded our pets and family into cars and have started heading out we are now trying to convince our family who are stubborn to come with.  This has nothing to do with being scared this has everything to do with protecting those we love. There is bravery in this as we don't know if we will have a home to come back to after the storm has passed through and it's all over.  Besides, we get hurricane days instead of snow days!

And I was one of them....My have times have changed. For the Better

4. Besides the weather that can be a pain in the butt we also have trees that can kill you! There is a tree that is called the Manchineel Tree that is native to Florida that is so poisonous that if any rainwater was to hit you coming off this tree it would burn your skin.  Then we have tree gators as well. That's right folks not only is the Gators in the water they can get into the trees as well.  We even have people crazy enough to throw gators threw the windows of drive-through restaurants. 

5. You learn pretty fast how to communicate in any language regardless of the fact that you can speak another language or not. You think this is funny, I only know a few words of Spanish and I took German in high school. However, if you work in the customer service field you know you can communicate really fast and you have google translate in your phone so you can do your job effectively.

6. You pray to the air conditioner! Now I have friends and family who live in northern states and they don't get why I need an Air conditioner year round when they don't use their a lot at all. Oh, sweeties spend a few weeks in Florida and you will know the reason why.

7.  As a kid in Florida we get some of the BEST field trips and as adults, we love chaperoning those amazing field trips. Such as but not limited to NASA, St Augustine, Theme Parks. Swimming with the Manatees, Boating down the rivers.  Yes, we are adults, but hey, if we can get a trip with our kids and can act like a kid ourselves its win-win situation!

8. Genetically engineered bugs and animals. Love bugs are not lovely and mosquitoes are annoying. That's not including snacks, gators, and sharks in the water. However, if you are a true Floridian you know how to act where to avoid and what to do. Oh, and if you were looking for peace and quiet, well sweetie, let me inform you now that our wildlife will give you the song of their people A LOT! The frogs are very vocal and so are the crickets, especially after a brief nighttime rain which happens about every night!

9. Fresh fruit and food!
There is nothing like an orange! Yes, I know you people who live outside our state can get them too, but we can normally go to our neighbor and ask to get them off their tree yes we do get picky on our citrus! As Florida has become a catchall for the American people if you know where to look you can get some amazing food! No, I am not talking about chain restaurants, but mom and pop places or food trucks that offer some of the best food ever! Also, because we are surrounded by water, there are a large ton of fresh seafood places around just be ready to get some mud on your car tires to get there!


10. You know in Florida we are separated into groups! North. Central. South. When you are talking to someone you will need to know the difference as each area has different things to do.  Also, there is a big college rivalry here as well and each college is in a different area. School yourself to be safe!

11. We do casual around these parts really well and you will own more Flip Flops, Sandals, Bathing suits than any other piece of clothing.  If you are a person wanting to be a local this is a fact. Just come to the sunny side of Florida we have cookies!

12 In Florida, we have trust issues due to the weather!  Oh, you think I am joking! Seriously, it will be sunny and bright in the front yard and then it will be storming in the backyard!  Also, you think you're going to look out your window and the weather is the same as it was ten minutes ago, that's adorable. Last night I went to do my nightly walk and it got pushed back three times because it started raining again.

13. NOTHING, absolutely nothing in the news shocks you ever!
*Woman burns down one of the oldest trees in Florida to cook her 
meth!
*Man arrested for molesting a tailpipe of a car!
*Guy arrested for throwing a baby alligator through the window of a fast food restaurant!

Yes, even us Floridians cringe when the news comes on and we will all be like not Florida, please. Then when its Florida we groan inwardly.

14. We get cold if the weather dips below 70

15. The heat and humidity are the reasons most ladies in Florida avoid makeup and wear out hair in ponytails! We also recognize a heated seat belt as a dangerous object!

16. The day and nighttime skies are beautiful and almost everyone wants to paint or photograph them.

17. Want to try out churches? We have A LOT of them around as well as synagogue's and you can almost always find a Wiccan or Faith healer! I even know of a handful of Voodoo and Hoodoo groups around as well.  Religion, regardless of what type of big in Florida! You just have to know where to look!

>18. We believe in the paranormal and have a town based on it!  Come to visit Cassedega Florida and see what it's all about. However pretty much any area in Florida is haunted. We have some strong history here and we can tell you handfuls of ghost stories and where to go find some yourself. A shout out to our local 
Ghosthunters in Brooksville PIT They are awesome and I catch as many of their lives as possible. 

 But seriously, I love my state and I hate when people bash it. I have been known to say if you hate it so much it's about a four-hour drive north to the state line you won't be missed!  True Floridians are a special breed we have to live with the fact that our state is not just our state and we have to share it with the world. We have people trying to take back the state by purchasing land and letting nature have it! We deal with new neighbors constantly as well as tourists and storms. Our ground can open up from sinkholes or be destroyed by hurricanes! But we are a bunch of badasses who endure because we know behind the bad stuff there is a bunch of amazing and good! We are a proud group and we are as southern as we come!

Blessings and Hope to you all!
-Angie



Wednesday, August 22, 2018

MOMS NEED OTHER MOMS


That's right, I am saying it mom's you need other mom's! If you believe as a mom you don't need a fellow group of woman to talk to and help get you through the rough spots in life than I hope your rainbows and unicorns are fabulous. See I used to be one of those moms who did it all alone because I was forced to be alone in my world.  My life has always put me into situations that I have been better friends with guys than girls.  However, after I had my first baby what few male and female friends I had disappeared fast.  I felt like I was always an outsider looking in and till this day I still feel like that.  I will admit I am different I am the nerdy girl who loves Star Wars, Gaming and Ghost Hunting!  I am happy if I did nothing but bake and read all day. For some, that's a bit off-putting, but I have always accepted people for who they are, so I am not going to pretend about who I am.

For twenty years I struggled with being a mom and messed up more times than I can count.  Although my kids had a father, I was utterly alone in life when it came to my concerns as a mom and I felt I had no one to talk to.  I thought since I was a member of the church would help me and I came to a quick realization that the churches I had visited made me feel worse because of the stuff I did in life and what I believed in. I tried to stick it out partially because of the pressure from my ex-mother-in-law, but by the time my son was born those people from the church were worse than the girls who used to talk behind my back in high school.

Also, I do want to make something clear, I am not a great mom.  Sometimes I will say I am mediocre to crap mom at best. I screw up most of the time and I will admit I am probably the reason that my kids will need therapy and  I will probably be paying for therapy for my kids well into the future, but there is one thing that I won't deny and that is I love my children, son-in-law, and granddaughter fiercely. These seven individuals give me a lease on life that keeps me going every day and I would move mountains for all of them.  So no matter how much I have screwed up I have a clear conscience and can say I have tried all my life to be a mom.

However, personally, I was having a huge internal battle.  I had no help or emotional support at home and whenever I tried to do something that would benefit myself as a mom and a woman I was always met with harsh comments or criticisms. So what changed? I had a talk with a very special someone one night and she told me that it was not my job to make everyone happy and that I needed to follow my dreams and be happy. I think that she knew what I was going through even though she was suffering her own personal battle at the time and her encouragement gave me the strength to continue following my dreams.

Fast forward a bit and I started watching these amazing mom live streams. Then I started to follow a moms group two years ago and began meeting these fabulous, amazing moms who come from all backgrounds in life.  I finally can say for the first time since becoming a mom, I am feeling some acceptance and that is an amazingly empowering feeling to have. When we meet up online we can have what some would consider the most boring conversations, however, those 'boring' conversations run right into the conversations that have us laughing and crying depending on the topic.  These women who I have come to share with don't belittle or judge. They give us fellow moms a shoulder to lean on and a listening ear to hear our stories and problems.  But most of all, even though we are located all across the world we are a tribe.  We are a group of moms who cheer each other on in celebration and awe when a new baby is born. When the worst happens, we cry alongside those hurting and offer a hand to help or an ear to listen.  We are moms and we are the strongest tribe around.

I am hardly one to give advice, but since meeting all these amazing women my life has changed for the better.  Find someone! Look online for a local moms group in your area, or even find a moms group online. Be brave and introduce yourself to the mom standing alone at the bus stop. You never know that mom could be just as lost and alone as you and what does it hurt to try!

Much love everyone,

Angie

Saturday, August 4, 2018

ALMOST MY BIRTHDAY!

Happy August everyone and guess what that means?  That's right it's almost my birthday and it's all about me! Just kidding my birthday is never about me my plans for this year are literally to go back to school food shopping and work on the rest of the housework for the remainder of the day!  I even get the same gift every year from the school board and it's the gift of school starting within 2-3 days of my birthday.

What else does that mean for me and Mycrazylifeagain? Well,  A whole new life adventure of course!  Now that the kids are going to be back in school I need to do more to make money and support these amazing kids of mine.  So basically I am planning on freelancing from both inside and outside the home when the kids are back to school. I have a few leads for work and am actively pursuing them so the kids and I can have a more fulfilling and fun life.

Reflecting back the past year I can't believe how much my life has changed since my birthday.  Last year I was fed a bunch of false promises from the man that claims to be my soon to be ex-husband.  This year coming I am no longer thinking that those false promises are something I need or want. I am standing firm and saying I am going to make my own way! I am a strong independent woman who is working on living my life to the fullest and having a grand adventure with my kids! I was so worried about trying to save the failing marriage I lost sight of being an amazing mom instead of an eh mom. With that, I also lost myself in the process. My identity disappeared and I was broken. I am following a new path now.

But Angie how are you going to do this you might ask? Well, I am going to continue to do what everyone keeps telling me I can not do! So that means the blog will continue to have new updates! My writing will also have more updated and improved content coming soon. No more listening to the naysayer's and living my life the way I want.  As for being a mom I am putting what that has always meant for me into perspective and doing what I should have done in the first place. My babies are my world and the only people whose opinions matter to me.

As for me, well I am going back to taking care of myself. My anxiety has gotten so bad that I had let myself go. I am trying to take care of myself again. My weight ballooned because I ate my feelings.  I have now started dropping weight!  I started doing stuff I had put aside again such as craft and read. I used to read 2-3 books a week and I just stopped. The thought of not reading like I used to makes me so sad, but I am changing it.

Make sure you are signed up for notifications as there will be better posts and updates as the blog is freshened up and new things are added.

Much Love Everyone!
Angie


Tuesday, July 31, 2018

Be Brave and Have Courage!


I love this quote! I used to watch this movie with my sister-in-law Pam a lot and it was our last movie we watched together!  So this post is dedicated to Pam! Sorry, everyone, there is not much more I can say about this because if you knew her you would understand she was beyond amazing.

Saturday, July 28, 2018

Dreams or Nightmares... Parents Edition


If that quote wasn't the truth.  You see I am what you would call a very dark dreamer.  I remember my dreams for a while after I wake and I write them down till I start to forget. Which seriously some of the best stories come from what you dreamt in the past.  But lately, my dreams have been even darker than usual. As most know I am a writer and I normally lean towards ghost and monsters in my writing. Even my own personal drawings in the book's lean toward the darker mythical side.  But seriously I think my dreams have been in overdrive lately. I decided to read up on what dreams are supposed to mean and according to quite a few articles, it's my fears for the future playing out in my dreams... Only if my dreams knew the half of it.

That's where I have a problem.  Why? Because the other night I was watching a video game playthrough with my daughter and later that night I dreamt I was fighting off the characters of said game with dual handed swords while searching for something that even though I could not remember once I woke up in my dream it had a purpose.  I hate animatronics they sit on the same level as clowns or mannequins.  I worked retail for eleven plus years and I hated being around mannequins alone.  As a joke, I used to have an old coworker leave mannequins in my old stockroom/ office to scare me. Let me tell you at seven in the morning when you had only had your first sip of coffee they heard me scream all the way across the store. Also, I hated being around angel statues as well! Thanks, Dr. WHO.

But back to the dreams.  I will admit I worry about the future. I mean I have a husband that is doing everything in his power to take a future from my kids and I.  I mean he is putting our home in foreclosure to spite me.  I am pretty much selling a ton of my home stuff on the crazy store to get a car so I have reliable transportation so not only I can get to and from a job but get my kids to where they need to be.  I worry a ton but I also have faith that I can make things work out.

But as of late, these dreams are seriously bothering me.  I mean these dreams go from sugar and sweet to full-fledged battles to where I come out covered in blood or wake up before I take a fatal hit.  The worst thing is that I will have bruise marks on me when I wake up.  Which is not odd for me because as everyone knows I am also a huge clutz.  Don't believe me, I stopped in a store to get a money order came out trip over my own two feet and fractured my ankle.  I am a clutz. So does anyone else dream so vividly that it breaks the normal bounds of what a dream is supposed to be? Or am I just a complete freak? Has anyone else ever had this issue or have any insight on this?



Monday, July 16, 2018

Looking For A JOB

So let me make this clear to start I lost my job on January 30th of this year. Why did I lose my job you may ask? Well because I was full time and the company restructured to get rid of us hard working full timers.  Which sucks too because I followed policy and rules and was a cheerleader for the company.  I was such a cheerleader I cheered myself right out the door. I was Lucky I got a small severance and some unemployment. But here it is July 16th and I still have not found a job. Yes, I am being critical of finding a good job because guess what I worked for a huge corporation before and my soul got sucked from me. No, I am not being funny I am being serious.  The company I worked for previously for going on just over eleven years did not believe in a work-life balance.  Well, let me rephrase that unless you were someone who kissed the managements booty you were not given or allowed to have a work-life balance. Now I can freelance which I am setting everything up for and other stuff from home but seriously this has become super depressing. 

Now have I interviewed for jobs yes of course. Did I ask all the important questions?  I sure did! Did I answer all the questions the way I was supposed to? Yup!  I actually overheard one of the managers say to another well if she couldn't keep her job with $#@%& then why would we want her here.  This is after I explained why I was let go from my previous job due to restructuring and they got rid of a bunch of us full-timers.  Another interviewer actually insinuated that I might be a tad too old for the job. Are you serious I am almost 41 years old that is not old, is it? 

So I have put in a ton of applications and have scoured the job sites.  Then the other day I was playing around on Pinterest and came across a post that said work from home. I read the post and believe me it was a long one, but it gave me hope.  I went to the search bar and put in work from home and lo and behold there were over 250 posts with information on companies looking for remote workers for almost any field I could qualify for.  In three hours I had submitted fifteen applications and had emails back from three companies.  I would love to work from home and save a commute or for me the Uber.  I was happy to see that all my options hadn't been gone through and I saved close to 100 articles from Pinterest and have about 75 left to go through but the sites and resources I have gotten have been amazing and I am feeling hope in this job search lets just hope it pans out!

So if you think you can do any of the following type work from home and good luck!
-data entry
-transcription
-customer service
-sales
-teaching English
-tutoring
-teaching other languages
and much more!

I will also make it easier for you with a link to my Pinterest Board with the articles I have been applying from!  If you are looking for a job happy job hunting I know we will both get one soon!

Blessings and Love,
Angie

Me too! Lol

Friday, July 13, 2018

A Brief Interlude!

I know I know I said I wouldn't be gone again and really I am not... No, seriously I am finishing stocking THE CRAZY STORE!  I am on hour I think 9 of working through the stock and box 17.  I have to get the store finished by the end of this weekend so I can have a Christmas in July sale followed by the dreaded back to school sale and pop up!

In all seriousness though thank you all for the kind messages that ask if I am okay? Because yes I am doing much much better than I have in the last few weeks.  My older two teens are out and about with their boyfriends/friends. My youngest has been hanging out with her friends as well and my boy has been playing on Fortnite none stop since yesterdays season switch up happened. Btw thank you epic games now if you would add the game to the android some of us would be very thankful. 

Anyway, everyone, I am working on more of a post for later on but I must return to the stock of my store and move my bum.  You know because being on a porch with 95-degree weather is fun.

Much love and blessings to all,

Angie

This is me right now!
::
V

The hills are alive, with th-...oh wait.. those aren't hills. That's just my homework.

Friday, July 6, 2018

A Pinterest Guide To Christmas In July!

If you haven't figured it out by now I am a Christmas enthusiast... ok let's just get it right I am obsessed with Christmas!  So when it comes to Christmas in July why don't we celebrate shall we? Besides we have good ole Pinterest to help guide us along! So shall we have some fun? Remember to click on the pictures to visit these awesome pins on Pinterest!

*Disclaimer I DO Not own these Pins so go show some pin love to the people that do!*

DRINKS!

There are so many fun ways to have a great time with or without adult beverages and here are a few pins to check out for when it comes to drinks!

Photo 16 of 42: Christmas in July / Birthday "Christmas in July" | Catch My Party
Link Here
Christmas in July Birthday Party Ideas | Photo 18 of 42 | Catch My Party
Link Here
Frozen hot chocolate bar! This is a great idea for a party. And yummy, too. Merry Christmas in July!
Link Here
     



FUN CRAFTS

Families normally make little crafty things during the winter for Christmas so why not do it during the summer as well?

Making beachy glass ornaments for a Christmas in July themed Birthday Party!  Filled with sand, sea shells, beach glass and glitter
Visit Here
Link Here



FOOD!

Because seriously what is the holidays or celebrating the holidays without food!


How to Make a Watermelon Snowman.  Filled with fruit salad of melon balls & blueberries.  Fun for Christmas or a Christmas in July celebration.
Link Here
a. party style: xmas in july :: veggie tray
Link Here



Christmas Tree Veggie Tray- I made one last year but must not have pinned it. Don't want to forget to make it though!
Link Here
Christmas in July
Link Here


Then there are links upon links with tons of great ideas and here are a few links that I actually liked with lists:
Christmas in July - Only 175 Days until Christmas! Start planning NOW for the best Christmas Holiday ever! Homemade Christmas Gifts, Recipes, Crafts and more! Click on the Photo for Christmas Inspiration!
Link Here

30 Christmas in July Party Ideas
Link Here

Christmas in July tips, tricks, recipes, crafts and ideas!
Link Here
90+ Recipes for Christmas in July | www.somethingswanky.com
Link Here


As with Christmas in July and as with normal Christmas follow the biggest holiday rule ever and that is having fun with it and enjoy yourself.  As for myself and everyone here at Mycrazylifeagain.com its crafting time!

Blessings and Love to you all,

Angie





Christmas In July!


I was asked the question, "Do you know why people and companies celebrate Christmas in July?" To be honest Christmas in July has always intrigued me and I thought it was for a few reasons and after doing a little research I come to find out I was not too far off on some of what I thought I knew. However, I was also wrong about some of what I knew as well. So let me fill you in on a few of the reasons that popped repeatedly when I was researching.

The first reason actually has to do with the real Christmas. See for us crafters who like making a bunch of homemade Christmas gifts July is our six-month warning if you have a bunch to make. This time of year if you go into certain crafting stores such as Joannes, Micheals and Hobby Lobby you can find sections that have some select Christmas stuff out already. Especially in the fabric and yarn sections you can see that there are holiday prints and colors starting to make an appearance. Also yes besides my gift store I have I do indeed have Christmas gifts started for this year myself.  But personally for  myself I also have started getting emails about up and coming holiday shows.

Another reason that I never thought of was that most families have reunions or vacations over the summer so for some it makes sense to have a Christmas Celebration when they can get off of work instead of the winter months where depending on their job they can't travel to go see family.   If you have family all over the country it makes sense that you are having a summer Christmas when people are more able to travel.

Then there is a huge retail push in July!  Yes it does exsist even though retailers will say no it doesnt. My twelve years retail taught me this.  In July is when most retailers put out merchandise that they did not want to take a big hit on mark down wise.  It is usually held back clearance from the previous years Christmas and the company is now marking it down to move it to get a better price for it. Or they are a getting ready for inventory or back to school so things are getting pushed from the stockrooms to get sold ASAP.

Now, the most controversial reason is the religous aspect as many believe Jesus was born in the summer instead of winter. Historically speaking it makes sense but I am not here to cause a debate. 

But really does it matter? For this girl right now its CHRISTMAS IN JULY! Does anyone else have any good knowledge on why? Yes? No? Stay tuned in the following post to see what you can do to make your Christmas in July rock!

Tuesday, June 26, 2018

The Fears Of the Dating World!

This is the first pin I found when I was looking on my Pinterest page this morning.  This also leads back to a very private conversation I was having with a friend the other day after the full force of my impending divorce hit me. I have decided to be the crazy pet lady personally because after almost nineteen years of marriage the thought of going on a date again pretty much terrifies me. I would rather make my way through a demon-infested haunted house than even remotely consider the option of dating.  Now I can hear a few people I know with the cricket sounds behind them because I am also a hopeless romantic... The struggle is real.

I know moms who have been shoved back into the dating world feel the same way as well. I mean first, let's go with the fact the last time I dated, I mean really dated I had just hit legal drinking age. Now fast forward 4 more kids later I have just now started working on a confident body image and my self-esteem.  I mean after what I have been through, do I really want to even suggest to any brave soul who even has the courage to say hi to me "Hi my name is Angie I am a forty-one-year-old mess with a handful of kids, pets, and a granddaughter who is my heart and soul. Oh and at some point if you are brave enough to want to be in a relationship with me I have an Ex who has sworn to make sure my happiness is nothing and has done all he can to ruin my life."  I think if I am not working or with my kids, I am just gonna let my imagination be my guide and write book after book to save my sanity instead of the stress of dating.

Now don't get me wrong I might hope one day I will find the "right one". But seriously now that I hit the forty-one-year-old mark my dating range has gone down a lot. I mean I don't want to date someone who is older than me and won't want to do stuff. I lived the hermit lifestyle for the first nineteen years of marriage and it is not fun people. I like to video game, hike, go to events, hell I like even having backyard BBQs with family and friends. I like to write and that is a passion for me to the point I am working daily on my blog and books to see if one day that could be a career for me. I am losing everything in my divorce and I will essentially be starting over with my babies. I have no future retirement or anything because I was stupid and in love once before.  I don't want someone to fix my problems but to encourage me on as I am trying to fix them on my own.  When it comes to my kids I have raised them pretty much solo because their dad sucked at being a dad and only now he is attempting to be a dad so when it comes to my kid's HANDS OFF.


I am a basket of contradiction in all honesty.  I am scared.  Of what you may ask? Being alone. It hit me the other night when I was sick to my stomach that I have not had anyone there for me in a very long time who cared enough to pull my hair back while I was getting sick.  It made me sad to know that this is what my life has come to. To be this sad and alone with no one to tell me it will be okay.



But it will be okay.  Why?  Because I said so! I refuse to set an example for my kids to give up on love. I am not one to just be with someone because it's convenient. I want to be with someone who makes my heart flutter and gives me that wow feeling when I get a hug.  Its out there ladies and one day I will find it and so will you.



Blessings and Love,



Angie




Monday, June 25, 2018

Ways To Earn Extra Money For Christmas While You Watch TV or Shop!

As I around the wall I am currently hunched behind I whisper the words, "Six Months Till Christmas." With that, I duck back down and wait for things to be thrown at me. I am giving you all a few minutes to throw your stuff because I do not need to get hurt... We good? Okay than. But Seriously people this article is to help you not hurt you so if you have any questions pop them below and enjoy! Just so you know all these sights and apps listed below I use and are vetted not only by me but by others who earn a little extra moolah this way. The main link that will be updated after this is HERE! So check back once in a while and see what you can earn.

Before we go any further though let me get this out of the way I am NOT selling anything or want anything from anyone.  I am posting this because I am a Christmas fanatic and I have a ton of people who know me ask, "How can you afford Christmas with what little you make?" Guess what ladies and gents this is how. (It also helps year round as well with some of the extras) Best thing is 99% of this you can do while you are watching TV at night! I would suggest though create a junk email and use that when signing up for the sites because you can get a bit of spam once in a while! So shall we begin?

This is by far my favorite money making site ever. I have made enough to cover my extras and the best thing is there are so many ways to earn not only Giftcards but once you redeem your first $50 in either direct deposit or Giftcards you can start redeeming via Paypal and most payouts are within a few hours of redemption. I do videos, clicks, and surveys and have earned $5 plus a day. But I know some people on the site earn a bunch more. This is by far my favorite earning site. Plus the mods and people who are in chat are wonderful as well it is a great community.

Swagbucks
Great site to watch videos answer surveys and take part in offers. Paypal and Giftcard prizes.

This app is great because you can watch videos without being in a store. Or when you are instore pull up the app and get points for walking into the store, or scanning select merchandise. If I am out and about I normally will bank a $2 Target gift card. Hey, $2 towards a video game or clothes or makeup for my teens is $2 I didn't have before.

Gifthulk.com
This site has surveys, videos, guess the card and offers. You can earn PayPal or gift cards.

Lucky Day Scratch
Please use my referral code FX585L9
This is a nice scratch-off game because it gives you different ways to earn and you get different options of winning. First is random PayPal that accumulates and you can cash out at $10. Or you earn points that you can earn you mini prizes or gift cards. I do the mini prizes a bit because I have been using them as stocking stuffers/ gifts.

Fitplay
Earn money while playing games. I love this app you choose the games you want to play. You can earn points pretty quick for either Amazon gift cards or Paypal.

Mypoints.com
This site I have been doing for years! Take surveys, email offers, coupons, videos. A ton of great gift cards to choose from!

Lucktastic
This app has gotten a bunch of great reviews. You play scratch offs to win either cash or gift cards!

Vegas Scratch App
Use my referral code cxh5mu8 so we both get extra points.
I love this app Scratch-offs, surveys puzzles.

Perk Scratch and Win
This is a constant scratch off the app and I use this site daily to earn Amazon Giftcards!

Giftloop
Watch videos, surveys etc.

Beware I do earn some from this site but the amount is high to earn from. Such as the level I am at right now requires 277k in points to receive a 100.00 Paypal deposit. I have done it before but it takes a while to do. You get points by doing surveys, daily clicks, and offers.

Tellwut.com
Great survey site I use to get Amazon Giftcards.

Earning Station
Great app to do surveys and watch videos plus much more. Great for PayPal payouts.

Pocket Bounty App
Newer App for me but cashed out once and like it!