When I married my Ex-Husband, I was young and stupid. He and his Mom told me I needed to listen to the financial advice that they were giving. I was so foolish to listen. Why?
When we were married, his mother had suggested that only one of us take on the debt so the other could build their credit up in case we got behind. Since I was the one who took the kids to the doctor's and handled everything in the house, that burden became mine. When I say burden, I mean everything, but the mortgage, water, and gas bills were in my name. I am not complaining about being a Mom or handling things with my kids. I am not. I am stating I was foolish to put all the bills in my name, which my ex would push off as he was the only one working as I was a stay-at-home mom.
Admittedly, my debt is horrible, which includes loans I had to take out to get me and my kids into a place to live after my Ex cost us our home. We were robbing Peter to pay Paul. After going through counseling, I finally learned this was a form of financial abuse that started from day one of our marriage. It is also not uncommon for this to happen in marriages.
Five years later, I am slowly chipping away at the debt and trying to build up my credit score. I have seriously considered bankruptcy but decided against that. All while my ex-husband has new cars and a brand new mortgage. Am I bitter? Not anymore. I could not afford the divorce and made him pay for it. But for him to pay for it, I had to agree that all of his debt was his and all of my debt was mine. All those bills we accumulated during our marriage are now mine.
Why am I even making this post? Because I hear so many people say, "I cannot afford to end a relationship financially."
Trust me, I get it. It is hard. I am slowly paying off my debt, which is a lot. When you add my student loans and back taxes due to my job, I know I have a long way to go. Remember, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Even if you pay a small amount at a time, it is better than nothing.
Here are some ways I am paying off my debt and getting myself out of this issue. I complete survey sites activities to earn a few extra dollars to pay the debt off faster. If anyone is interested, you can go to our page Help In Life, for a list of the sites that I used to earn some extra money.
I am a testament that things will work out. Knowing I am struggling now, but that does not mean things will not get better. Stay strong. everyone better days are ahead of us.
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