Why I Am Okay With Being Single!
So time to speak my mind! Be ready to be offended! However, I think people take the challenge as matchmaker a little too seriously. Now do not get me wrong, I might have chosen wrong for myself, however, my setup rate for others was pretty damn good. I just did one thing that most people who want to play matchmaker never stop to consider. Is the person I am trying to set up ready for a relationship? Or more importantly, do they want to enter the dating pool again? Dating is scary.
Why might I be taking a stand on this subject? Funny you should ask. I was informed a few times in the last few weeks that I should start dating. When I asked why, the answer made me laugh. Well, don't you think it's time you got back out there? Don't you want to be with someone. I saw red. I know I am not ready to date again. Is it because I am still in love with my soon to be ex-husband? Um, no. I would ask anyone who reads this that if I took that trip to stupid town to drag me back to sanity and slap the snot out of me.
Now I know that makes me sound mean. But see it from my point of view, I was foolish enough to allow a man who carried on an affair for two years back after begging me to to reconcile. The reconcile was short lived as he never stopped dating and wants a divorce so he can go public with a girl who is the same age as his oldest child. Disgusting. I am not going to be in a relationship to make others happy.
But after twenty, THAT'S right 20 years in a relationship I need to rediscover me. I need to put my puzzle back together and rediscover who I am. When people are pushed back into relationships too soon they forget who they are and what makes them tick. I am slowly discovering who I am again and what I like. For example, I love the fact that I am writing more and I am reading a bunch of new books. If time allows I am back to baking again. Crafting makes me happy! I love movies. My interest in the paranormal still is as strong as ever. I want to go cliff diving and hiking again. I love watching my son play on his video games and watching movies with my daughter. I don't need stuff. But there are things about relationships I discovered such as I want romance, but before that I want to be friends with the guy I am dating or wanting to date. I want a guy who will be okay if I want to do something by myself and I will be okay if my future guy wants to go camping or go away with his friends for the weekend, Because I want trust and honesty. I would have never discovered any of these things if I was in a relationship.
Now don't get me wrong. I know plenty of people who have started a relationship right after getting out of one and it's worked out great for them. But it should be everyone's personal choice and people should not push others because they feel it's that person's time to start dating. For me, it's almost like hearing "You are not allowed to be happy unless you're in a relationship" and that's not right.
So instead of pushing your friend into something have a girls night or guys night out! Go on a friend date where you can talk and have fun and know that being there for them is more important than pushing them into a relationship they might regret!