I am struggling real bad!
Why you may ask? Because I am carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders and I feel like everything in my life is crashing down around me. I mean everything!
My Sense of Self
People tell me I am using it as a crutch! No, I am not!
That's the part that angers me the most!
I never used to be this way, but I trusted someone who wasn't supposed to betray me and guess what it happened anyway. Believe me when I say, I hate having a pain in my chest every day! I hate feeling like the other shoe is going to drop. People do not understand the intensity of how it feels to have the nagging worry that something bad is going to happen ALL THE TIME! The worst thing is the anxiety and fear can have you make mistakes that you normally should and would not be making. Things that you should not have had happen. What can you do about it? NOTHING!
I should have been asleep 2 hours ago! Why am I not asleep? Because I am up working! Trying to get stuff handled like I need to be a good mom. So I can function knowing I have to because that is what a Mom Boss does! Knowing that there is NO HELP for someone in my situation except the solution I find for myself! I know that the people will think I am trying to use my anxiety as a crutch and that's not the case I bust my bum a lot to do what I need to do.
So this reminder is for those out there who thinks that the friend who worries about everything is faking it! Believe me when I say I would like to be asleep in my bed instead of working and writing because I could seriously use a good night's sleep! No this is not a pity post. This is a post to show how Anxiety can kick someone down even worse than they are! Take heed my friends all it takes is one bad thing to happen to you and you are in the position I am in.
To a brighter future and plan,